Chennai

The second and final city during my stay in India was Chennai. I first chose it because of a good friend who had moved back earlier in the year, but it turned out to be even more serendipitous. Chennai was the city my partner had visited a year before to attend a meditation event. She had been hoping to return sometime in the future, and as it worked out, the timing aligned for us to meet and spend this time together. She had just finalized a big career shift and her son would have a week off from school. We arrived on the same day, just an hour apart. There were no major flight delays, and I was able to meet them as they landed. It was wonderful seeing each other again, and somewhat surreal meeting in such a different place. We called a taxi and the three of us were off to the apartment we’d call home for the next three weeks. After settling in, we ordered our first meal: dosas and idli. It was all very tasty, with bold, strong flavors. One thing that caught my attention was the use of banana leaves to wrap food. It turned out to be very common. It was amazing to see how often they’re used and how much plastic they replace.

On our second day, we went to Besant Nagar Beach, a beach within walking distance. On our way there, I saw a restaurant selling chai and various sweets. I suggested we go in so they could try some of the new treats I had tasted in Hyderabad. I got us some chai, a few biscuits, and some gulab jamun. We continued to the beach where we found a spot by the water, got our feet wet, and enjoyed the view. There were a large number of people, but we came to the obvious realization that the way the beach is enjoyed here is not the same as how we were used to. No one was wearing bathing suits, and very few people were in the water. The few that were, only got their feet and legs wet. There was no diving, swimming, or playing in deeper waters. We walked a bit further and encountered some cows. I knew they roamed the city, but the idea of them at the beach never crossed my mind, and seeing them there on the sand was quite unexpected. The one unfortunate thing was the large amount of trash at the beach, the same we encountered on the streets during our walks. Later, we went to another beach recommended by the apartment caretaker. It was a little cleaner, and we all dove into the Indian Ocean for the first time. It was also the first time seeing sanderlings running to and fro in the waves. It was quite a sight to watch how fast their little legs moved.

For most of our time, we went out together. But on two separate occasions, I didn’t go. One time my partner went walking on her own, and another with her son. When she came back from both, she spoke about how different it was when I wasn’t with them. How often men looked at her, and the way they did. It is a painful, inescapable reality for women across the world. How is it still so prevalent?

During our visit, we also got to spend time with my friend. She was the only person I worked with on the same projects for my entire seven years at the last company. It turned out that our first Thursday was a holiday for her, so she planned a trip with us to Mahabalipuram, a town by the beach south of Chennai. There we enjoyed a delicious lunch and a walk on the beach. Afterwards, we walked a short distance to the Shore Temple. It is built of granite and dates back to the 8th century AD. It was the best-preserved temple of all the ones I visited. A few days later she invited us over to hang out at her apartment. We spent some time at the pool and discovered we couldn’t go in unless we had swim caps. Luckily they had some, and we were able to enjoy the water. My partner and friend stayed by the pool enjoying a coffee while we played some games in the water. For dinner, she ordered a number of chaat dishes, which are savory street foods. My favorite was dahi puri, a small crispy puff shell that you fill with yogurt and a few other things.

On our second weekend we scheduled a visit to the meditation center. They are open throughout the year and accept guests at any time, as well as hold special events with more structure and attendance. Our stay didn’t align with any events, so we attended the regular daily meditations. We stayed two nights at their dorms; when my partner came, she had spent two weeks there. It was different because we were the only ones there and had the whole dorm to ourselves. They still welcomed us warmly and made us feel very comfortable. The food was excellent and always ready on time. For two days we followed the full schedule of sessions. The first began at 5:45 am, and the last ended around 5 pm. It was a lot for us both, and even more for a ten-year-old, but he did an amazing job participating in many of the sessions, and when not, he sat quietly or napped beside us. This was the longest I had ever meditated, even with pauses between sessions. It was insightful, reflective, and deeply calming. We wrapped up our second day, had our last dinner, and our taxi was waiting for the two-hour trip back to Chennai.

Our last weekend marked the beginning of Diwali. On Saturday the streets and shops were lively, and we heard fireworks around the neighborhood. Sunday afternoon we went to my friend’s apartment, where we enjoyed the pool again and spent time with her parents and some friends. We then went upstairs for some sweets and chai. Her apartment is on the tenth floor, and as night fell, the fireworks grew more frequent. Little did we know how many fireworks we would see over the next two days. It was a continuous barrage, small and large, near and far. During the nights, they were visible across the skyline without pause. After snacking, we went downstairs, lit our own small fireworks, and laughed together, watching the bursts of color and light. Such lovely moments.